Now or Later?

I decided to post this on my Facebook page to make it easier to comment on.  Thanks for all of your comments so far.  Let's continue our exploration in waiting.

Waiting is the delay of self-gratification.

Why would anyone ever want to delay doing or getting what they want? Good question. In my last post we considered 2 year olds and how insistent they can be. In their minds the word "wait" gives them the right to fall on the floor and throw a tantrum. And they don't care where they are when they throw that tantrum either. When the impluse to have something hits them and they are told "wait," the displeasure of not getting their way sends earthquake like waves through their little bodies, they shake, their arms flail in the air, legs turn to spaghetti and with a high-pitched yowl they crash to the floor in a seizure. LOL! You can be in the mall, at a friend's house, in the park, at church, it doesn't matter to them. The only thing that matters at that moment is provoking you into action - forcing you to fulfill their request.

So what if they just ate their 3rd pack of Smarties, they want more...NOW!

Fast-forward 10 years later, that 2 year old is now 12 and has rarely been corrected on this behavior. He was too hard to handle when he was a child so over the years he's continued to throw tantrums and get what he wants. As an older child his tantrums include breaking his ipod to get the newest one, setting the garbage can on fire because he has to do his chores first before he can play the Wii. Sending him to his room doesn't help much because he only finds more things to break while he sits there sulking.

Ten more years later, he's an adult, attempting to manage responsibilities and relationships. His friends think he's the life of the party because he's impulsive, he'll do or say things they would only dream of doing and saying. Remember, he never quite caught on to that whole "delaying of self-gratification" thing. So already he's got credit card debt, his relationship with his parents is estranged because he's always calling home to be bailed out of something. Girlfriends come and go. The main complaint? "He's too unpredictable and puts too much pressure on me when I say 'no' or 'wait.'" And you can only imagine what he's like as an employee.

So what would happen if we got what we wanted, when we wanted it everytime? What would it be like living in a society that encouraged us to act on impulse, responding to every fleeting thought and fantasy that crossed out minds? What would your life be like now if no one ever taught you to wait as a child?

I used an extreme example to make a point. You may not know anyone with all of those issues but you do  know people who won't take "no" for an answer. We all know pushy people who don't respect our wishes or our boundaries. You probably know some impulsive people who rarely "look" before they "leap," then call you for help afterwards. As exciting as a life like that may seem on the frontside, the backside is ugly, full of instability, clutter and anxiety. When we learn to wait, to deny ourselves, we are building a life versus living for the moment. When we learn to wait, we learn to consider and respect others and not be self-centered. When we wait we learn self-control instead of  wrecklessness that hurts you and innocent by-standers.

Waiting is that glue or mortar that allows you to build securely upon your last accomplishment so that you'll have something you can proudly look back on and even pass along to the next generation.

So consider that 2 year old. When you think about it, learning to wait now is less painful than learning later. And if you were one who didn't learn to wait until later, consider mentoring a young person, they can definitely learn from your mistakes.

Until next time ;)